Token Mormon

So, as many of you know, Pam and I are friends and confidants of some less fortunate people who have some challenges with regard to substance abuse. Over the years, our home has become some sort of half-way house for those who either have felt or do feel the need to use stimulants -- whether it be drugs or alcohol. I personally feel somewhat responsible for a few individuals that have entered into the subtance abuse category because of my introduction of the wonders of the guitar to them. It makes me believe that Elder Gene R. Cook was right that the steel string guitar is of the devil. That's why I usually only play a classical guitar now. On occasion, I do succumb to the temptations of the the steel strings and pickup up an acoustic or electric guitar. I do so, wondering what would Jesus play? It's a good question. Would he play the harp? Afterall, it is the instrument of angels. The only problem is, some of it's strings are wound with steel. Would he play the violin? I think not. Again, steel strings. How about the piano? Oops, steel strings. Which begs the question, if a piano, harp, and violin are okay to play in sacrament meeting, why not a guitar?
So, it appears the only true instrument that should be allowed and hallowed is the organ. It's no coincidence I deal with organs. The organ has no strings, although it is electric which could be construed by some to be associated with electric guitars. Nevertheless, the organ is the purest instrument known to mankind. It could be equated to speaking the Adamic language. It is pure and undefiled. The first organs were based and built on the principle of pumping air through chambers or pipes. Can you say Tabernacle organ? So why then aren't accordians played in sacrament meetings? It's based on the same principles as the organ and isn't electric. It's only a portable organ. So, here is my proposal. I am starting a petition to have the accordian made the official instrument of the Mormon church. What's more, I am adding to the petition that my sister, Candace Sue Walker, be the official accordianist for the Mormon church. I am delivering my petition to the church offices as soon as I get 27,000 signatures.
Speaking of substance abuse, one of my former guitar students who is now in a somewhat famous band, needed a ride from the airport last Saturday. I picked him up and took him to his house which he shares with a married couple about his same age. This former student is, or was a member of the church, and his married roomates are also. None of them are involved with the church due to their belief system and recreational choices. They don't necessarily have anything against the church other than the word of wisdom and judgemental members. But then who doesn't have problems with either of those. I'm fat and judged to be an old coot. Anyway, while I was at his house, a couple of other younger fellows showed up. They were from Snowflake, AZ, a predominantly Mormon community and they were Mormon. One of the guys is a glass blower. I asked if he made decorative things like trinkets and ornaments. He replied he made bongs and made a good living doing it. I realized I was in the presence of those who liked to recreate in a different way than I did so I just made an off-hand remark that I was the token Mormon in the bunch. To my surprize, the bong maker asked my former student if he could score a dime. I've heard of dime-bags before, so I quickly exused myself and said to continue on with their pursuits of happiness after I left.
To make a long story short, which is impossible now, I saw my former student again yesterday. He wanted to explain to me why the bong blower went ahead and asked for some garden of eden happy plants in my presence. He thought when I said I was the token Mormon in the group, I meant I was a toking (meaning canubis smoking) Mormon. Totally understandable if you make bongs for a living.
Accordians forever and long live bong makers.