Two days ago, my wife the ultimate facilitator of happiness, and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. It was an eventful day that began with an all you can eat breakfast at IHOP. Why is IHOP always busy? We went around 9 or 9:30am and it was still crowded. I ate as many pancakes as a man who has been married for 26 years could possibly eat. I was sick for the next 6 hours getting over my sugar high. We had planned to then have a romantic dinner at Texas Roadhouse (I know how romantic could Texas Roadhouse be?), but it's good food, especially the rolls. Anyway, we were both still extremely full from IHOP and decided to eat some lighter mexican food at our favorite restaurant Gecko Grill. While there Pam handed me a piece of paper with the following handwritten notes. It read, "Reasons I Love Jeff". Here's what she wrote.
1. So good with people
2. Best dad imaginable
3. Loves me
4. Listens to me
5. Knows how to fix things and can fix anything
6. Always tells good things about me to people
7. Doesn't care if I cook dinners
8. So easy going about house, food, clothes
9. Doesn't spend money
10. Wears whatever and doesn't care
11. Doesn't like to shop and spend money on clothes
12. Good hair
13. Still cute
14. Funny
15. Likes sports
16. Is a true 100% man's man
17. Likes to fish
18. Like boats
19. Works as hard as he can
20. He brings me stuff when I need it
21. Lets me read in bed with the light on
22. Went on a mission
23. Is so knowledgable about the gospel
24. Love his parent and family
25. Is true blue loyal to me
26. Never has given me any reason to ever be jealous
So, there is the list she handed me over chips and salsa. Needless to say, the pressure was on. I had nothing prepared for her. So, being a quick thinker I asked her for a piece of notebook paper and wrote the following; Reason I love Pam.
1. She's shy
2. Best mom ever to grace the face of the earth
3. Loves me and puts up with me
4. Lets me listen to my own voice
5. Expects me to know everything
6. Loyal to a fault
7. Buys me fruit and almonds
8. Doesn't spend money or if she does she returns things
9. Doesn't care what I wear
10. Worries about my hair
11. She's beautiful (this was a smart one)
12. Starting to act like me towards other people.....funny
13. 110% real woman now that she has an estrogen pellet shot into her hip
14. Puts her used QT drinks on the bedstead
15. Reads all the time with the light on in bed
16. Our son is on a mission because of her
17. Reads the Book of Mormon everyday, mostly at night with the light on
18. Loves my family even though we all have A.S.S.
19. Has only given me 2 times to ever be jealous and they were not her fault. People stop her and say she looks like Goldie Hawn or Barbara Mandrell.
So, if I do say so myself, I came up with my smart list very quickly and save my bacon. Oh, I shouldn't have mentioned bacon because it still makes me sick just to thing about the all you can eat breakfast we had at IHOP. For our anniversary presents we got new wedding bands. It appears that gold is out and fat silver or platinum wedding rings are in. Funny, but isn't gold at an all time high right now? I also bought her a real crutch to use for her ailing knee and a gel bicycle seat which she won't be able to use until her knee heals. She got me a new pair of brown shoes that she likes and knows I'll wear because I don't care what I look like.
So, there it is, a recap of our 26th wedding anniversary. I still remember the night of October 14th, 1982 when I was staying at Lance and Candy's house the day before our temple sealing. Pam had insisted that I write down my feelings about getting married. As I was doing so, a wise man walked into the room. His name happened to be Howard Arnett. He just sat down in a chair and didn't say a word. Finally, after some time had past, I asked him if he needed anything. He said no and just continued to sit next to me. I said, "Dad, did you want to talk or something." He said, "well I thought I might give you some advice". I then prepared myself for some incredible words of wisdom from the man I admired most. I expected a "sermon" of sorts about the intricacies of marriage, and the nuances of human interaction between a man and a woman who enter into the sacred bonds of holy matrimony. I gave him all my attention. I was a little nervous about the next day and needed some reassurance. In, Howard like fashion, he looked at me and then uttered these most profound words, "If you want a happy life, you better have a happy wife". We both chuckled and he got up and walked out of the room. 26 years later I have never forgotten that advice. What's even better is that my wife is truly the facilitator of my happiness.
I love you Pammie. How you made it this far with me I'll never know.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
I've never been polled!
So, Pam says I never write in my blog anymore and that the last thing I wrote was about staring down a mass murderer. I told her I didn't have anything to say anymore, that is, until last night.
I don't watch tv anymore because I have sling box and can do it online and play Spider Solitaire or read your blogs at the same time. What a great country! But, last night was the vice-presidential debate. I admit I didn't watch much of it, because I was watching the Utah-OSU game and playing an incredibly difficult game of Spider Solitaire which took great concentration.
However, I did watch the media slice, dice and mulsify just how bad Sarah Palin did. Now, I must go on record as saying I still don't know who I'm gonna vote for. I am a registered Independent. I have been one for some 20 plus years. Pam says it just because I want to be different. I say it's because I am independent. All of this aside, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNBC, XYZ, BIC, RIP, and all the others (except of course Brizszdzddxxaacaxxxxzxzxxz), pundited that Sarah Palin did okay, but that she is not qualified, not going to help McCain, not factually correct, speaks funny, ya da ya da ya da ya da. I've come to expect that. I don't watch or listen to Bill Maher, Michael Moore, Kieth Olberman (he's got some anger issues) or Rush Limbaugh for that matter. At least Rush knows he's in it for the money and it's just an act. But, I'm not a big fan of anybody bashing either party, probably because I'm not a member of either party. Letterman is starting to bug me. He's become way to anti McCain-Palin. Right now it's cool to make fun of those two. Heaven knows I like to make as much fun as the next guy, but it's too obvious. So, what was I saying, oh, here's the deal. On CNN they kept citing these polls that had just been taken with really enlightening questions like who looks more politician, and who do you trust, and who did better.
Well, it dawned on me that I've never been polled once in my life. I've stared down a mass murderer, I've been asked to take phone surveys, I've been asked to donate by the Salvation Army (good cause by the way), I've turned down the guys at the DMV that sit outside wanting me to sign up for some cause, etc. But, I've never been polled on anything political, racial, religious or come to think of it I've never even been asked to comment on what TV shows I watch or who is number one in college football.
Who are the people being polled? Where do they come from. Are they relatives of the newspeople? I've heard of the Harris poll, the Gallup poll (I've been to Gallup and I wouldn't want to poll many people there), the USA/CNN poll, the North pole and even the South Pole, but I've never been contacted by one of them. I did fall off a chin-up pole once. I was standing on the top of it trying to walk across it on the playground of Ruth Brown elementary school. My feet slipped and gravity took it's course and I hit the pole right between my legs, but that's another story. Okay, so maybe I have an aversion to polls, or poles, but don't you think at my age I should have at least been asked to be in some sort of poll. I never have been asked to be part of a focus group. I've never even taken the Pepsi challenge. I can't even give my opinion in church, especially the High Priest's Group. They cringe when I raise my hand. Pam, on many occasions, has forcefully put her hand on my hand and pressed down hard when I'm about to raise it in Sunday School. I get it. I'm opinionated, I have A.S.S., I'm an idiot, I like to hear my own voice, I write too long of blogs, etc. But, why I haven't I ever been polled?
Because of my lack of polling experience, I question the polls. Who are these people that tell us how we are thinking. I didn't think Biden did better than Palin and I like Biden. I would vote for Biden for President right now. I didn't think Palin did bad at all. I actually like her voice. It reminds me of the movie "Fargo". You know the pregnant small town police chief woman. I'd vote for her as president. Geez, she captured the murderer and figured out the crime. Sure she said "you betcha" a lot. Kind of cute I thought. Come to think of it I like her character really a lot because I've also stared down a mass murderer.
Okay, now you know why they won't call on me in High Priest's quorum, but I would like to take a poll on my blog. How many of you have been polled for anything political. I'm talking about a real poll, not if you would like to donate to a political party or if you would like to have information sent to you about car insurance. Please let me know. Anwser my poll. A simple yes or no would do, or you can write an epistle. Now is your chance to be a part of the process. If you live in a mansion or live in a van down by the river, take part in my poll. Have you ever been politically polled?
Oh by the way, I'm starting a new blog at Pam's request called "Hot Dawg in Hamburg". Instead of sending you the emails from Chad we are going to post them on this new blog with photos, etc. That way if you really want to read about him you can, if you don't you are going to hell anyway and you don't have to read the blog.
Did I mention that I stared down a mass murderer?
I don't watch tv anymore because I have sling box and can do it online and play Spider Solitaire or read your blogs at the same time. What a great country! But, last night was the vice-presidential debate. I admit I didn't watch much of it, because I was watching the Utah-OSU game and playing an incredibly difficult game of Spider Solitaire which took great concentration.
However, I did watch the media slice, dice and mulsify just how bad Sarah Palin did. Now, I must go on record as saying I still don't know who I'm gonna vote for. I am a registered Independent. I have been one for some 20 plus years. Pam says it just because I want to be different. I say it's because I am independent. All of this aside, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNBC, XYZ, BIC, RIP, and all the others (except of course Brizszdzddxxaacaxxxxzxzxxz), pundited that Sarah Palin did okay, but that she is not qualified, not going to help McCain, not factually correct, speaks funny, ya da ya da ya da ya da. I've come to expect that. I don't watch or listen to Bill Maher, Michael Moore, Kieth Olberman (he's got some anger issues) or Rush Limbaugh for that matter. At least Rush knows he's in it for the money and it's just an act. But, I'm not a big fan of anybody bashing either party, probably because I'm not a member of either party. Letterman is starting to bug me. He's become way to anti McCain-Palin. Right now it's cool to make fun of those two. Heaven knows I like to make as much fun as the next guy, but it's too obvious. So, what was I saying, oh, here's the deal. On CNN they kept citing these polls that had just been taken with really enlightening questions like who looks more politician, and who do you trust, and who did better.
Well, it dawned on me that I've never been polled once in my life. I've stared down a mass murderer, I've been asked to take phone surveys, I've been asked to donate by the Salvation Army (good cause by the way), I've turned down the guys at the DMV that sit outside wanting me to sign up for some cause, etc. But, I've never been polled on anything political, racial, religious or come to think of it I've never even been asked to comment on what TV shows I watch or who is number one in college football.
Who are the people being polled? Where do they come from. Are they relatives of the newspeople? I've heard of the Harris poll, the Gallup poll (I've been to Gallup and I wouldn't want to poll many people there), the USA/CNN poll, the North pole and even the South Pole, but I've never been contacted by one of them. I did fall off a chin-up pole once. I was standing on the top of it trying to walk across it on the playground of Ruth Brown elementary school. My feet slipped and gravity took it's course and I hit the pole right between my legs, but that's another story. Okay, so maybe I have an aversion to polls, or poles, but don't you think at my age I should have at least been asked to be in some sort of poll. I never have been asked to be part of a focus group. I've never even taken the Pepsi challenge. I can't even give my opinion in church, especially the High Priest's Group. They cringe when I raise my hand. Pam, on many occasions, has forcefully put her hand on my hand and pressed down hard when I'm about to raise it in Sunday School. I get it. I'm opinionated, I have A.S.S., I'm an idiot, I like to hear my own voice, I write too long of blogs, etc. But, why I haven't I ever been polled?
Because of my lack of polling experience, I question the polls. Who are these people that tell us how we are thinking. I didn't think Biden did better than Palin and I like Biden. I would vote for Biden for President right now. I didn't think Palin did bad at all. I actually like her voice. It reminds me of the movie "Fargo". You know the pregnant small town police chief woman. I'd vote for her as president. Geez, she captured the murderer and figured out the crime. Sure she said "you betcha" a lot. Kind of cute I thought. Come to think of it I like her character really a lot because I've also stared down a mass murderer.
Okay, now you know why they won't call on me in High Priest's quorum, but I would like to take a poll on my blog. How many of you have been polled for anything political. I'm talking about a real poll, not if you would like to donate to a political party or if you would like to have information sent to you about car insurance. Please let me know. Anwser my poll. A simple yes or no would do, or you can write an epistle. Now is your chance to be a part of the process. If you live in a mansion or live in a van down by the river, take part in my poll. Have you ever been politically polled?
Oh by the way, I'm starting a new blog at Pam's request called "Hot Dawg in Hamburg". Instead of sending you the emails from Chad we are going to post them on this new blog with photos, etc. That way if you really want to read about him you can, if you don't you are going to hell anyway and you don't have to read the blog.
Did I mention that I stared down a mass murderer?
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