So, tonight exactly at 12:03 am, our home was invaded. I was sitting in a lounge chair in the guest bedroom watching Conan because I couldn't fall asleep. I was in that room because I didn't want to disturb Pamela who had gone to bed around 9pm. She get's up at 5 am every morning so nine is about her usual time to doze off. I wasn't able to see her off to nighty nite because I was updating blogs and checking online stuff.
Anyway, back to my harrowing experience. As I was watching TV, someone with a knitted pull down beanie mask and turned up coat burst into the bedroom where I was. The only thing I could see was a nose, eyes and a mouth. I was terrified and began to scream. I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest and I was looking for something to fight off the attacker with. As I was getting ready to leap out of my chair, (I'm not sure whether to run away or attack), I realized it was Pam. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom and was wondering why I wasn't in bed. She came looking for me.
What I didn't know was she was cold when she went to bed earlier and had put on the beanie pull down cap and the coat.
When she came into the guest bedroom, she thought nothing of it. When she realized I was trembling in fear she looked at me funny. I then told her to look in the mirror. She did and we both got a big laugh out of it. Only thing is, I'm still awake at 1:30 am. Oh, and did I ever mention that my wife is really funny now after 20 plus years?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
To sleep or not to sleep, book writing and dreams
And now for something completely different.
I can't sleep at night. I think I know why but I still can't fix it. I probably need one of those breathing masks, actually I know I do because I spent $2,000 for them to tell me I do. But, I can't bring myself to get one. First of all, it's another $2,000 and secondly, wearing one makes me look like Dr. Hannibal Lector. What's worse, it make me feel like him.
When I don't sleep well, I have strange dreams. I mean really strange dreams. No I don't dream of ABBA songs, which would really be strange, but my dreams border on bizarre. I won't go into most of them, but I will tell of one I had recently.
I was fishing on the famous Arnett canal just where it meets the old Colorado River. I was on one side of the canal fishing and my father was in a small boat with a small outboard motor entering into the canal from the river and starting to go up the canal. He stopped to pick up a young man, (I don't know who he was), who wanted to water ski. It seemed odd because the motor was so small and so was the boat, but Howard wanted to help him and he proceeded to let him water ski behind the boat. They didn't get very far up the canal when for some reason Howard beached the little boat on the side of the canal and he got out to do something. The young man got out and waited for him to come back. I was watching this whole thing as I fished from the other side. The water level in the canal began to lower and the boat was completely out of the water at an angle on the side of the canal. Howard still wanted to take the young man water skiing so he got on a bulldozer and began to push the little boat down into the water. The incline was too steep and the bulldozer began to tip over back over front. I watched this with terror. I saw this whole thing unfold as I was on the other side of the canal and further down toward the river. In slow motion the bulldozer completely flipped over on my father and landed on him knocking him unconscious. Both he and the bulldozer were in the water with the bulldozer on top of Howard. I could see his white cowboy hat on his head which was pinned under the bulldozer as it was unexplainably floating up the canal toward the pump. The youth was frantic, but he could do nothing. I was terrified knowing there was nothing I could do. I thought of jumping in my truck and driving up the canal as fast as I could, but I knew I couldn't get to him quickly enough and that by the time I got there he would be dead. I just watched in horror as my unconscious father was pinned under a floating machine. I woke up quite disturbed. If dreams mean anything, I'd like to know what this one means. Where's Joseph with a colorful coat when you need him? By the way, this one is tame compared to most I have.
So, in response to Candy's response to my last blog entry.... geez, all I said was there are no guarantees in life. I wanted you to comment but I didn't want to read a Jane Austen novel (just kidding, I have to mention when I'm joking now, because heaven forbid if I hurt Lacy's feelings). Also, if I'd known you knew who I was talking about, I'd have disguised things a little more. Cliff called me today to see who it was I was talking about. He didn't know him. Incidentally, the bank he worked at for a long time (not really his bank, now it's a different bank - but same building, was robbed today). See there is justice in this life. Also, I'm writing a book now based on my experiences -- mostly in Blythe. It's called, "What they can't tell you in General Conference and why." Catchy title, huh? There will be a chapter on "Life according to Howard", including his Howardisms and another one called, "Why can't I have as deep of thoughts as my sister?" Also, one chapter is going to be titled, "Does God really want us all to be Mormon?"
I've got several more chapters I'm working on including, "Is Eternal progression linear or in 3D?"). If you have any chapter titles you'd like me to add, feel free to give submit them to me.
The book is approximately 2000 pages so far, but I'm working to edit it down to about 10 pages including pictures. I figure it will be a best seller, but I don't think Deseret Book will pick it up. I might have to self-publish it.
I can't sleep at night. I think I know why but I still can't fix it. I probably need one of those breathing masks, actually I know I do because I spent $2,000 for them to tell me I do. But, I can't bring myself to get one. First of all, it's another $2,000 and secondly, wearing one makes me look like Dr. Hannibal Lector. What's worse, it make me feel like him.
When I don't sleep well, I have strange dreams. I mean really strange dreams. No I don't dream of ABBA songs, which would really be strange, but my dreams border on bizarre. I won't go into most of them, but I will tell of one I had recently.
I was fishing on the famous Arnett canal just where it meets the old Colorado River. I was on one side of the canal fishing and my father was in a small boat with a small outboard motor entering into the canal from the river and starting to go up the canal. He stopped to pick up a young man, (I don't know who he was), who wanted to water ski. It seemed odd because the motor was so small and so was the boat, but Howard wanted to help him and he proceeded to let him water ski behind the boat. They didn't get very far up the canal when for some reason Howard beached the little boat on the side of the canal and he got out to do something. The young man got out and waited for him to come back. I was watching this whole thing as I fished from the other side. The water level in the canal began to lower and the boat was completely out of the water at an angle on the side of the canal. Howard still wanted to take the young man water skiing so he got on a bulldozer and began to push the little boat down into the water. The incline was too steep and the bulldozer began to tip over back over front. I watched this with terror. I saw this whole thing unfold as I was on the other side of the canal and further down toward the river. In slow motion the bulldozer completely flipped over on my father and landed on him knocking him unconscious. Both he and the bulldozer were in the water with the bulldozer on top of Howard. I could see his white cowboy hat on his head which was pinned under the bulldozer as it was unexplainably floating up the canal toward the pump. The youth was frantic, but he could do nothing. I was terrified knowing there was nothing I could do. I thought of jumping in my truck and driving up the canal as fast as I could, but I knew I couldn't get to him quickly enough and that by the time I got there he would be dead. I just watched in horror as my unconscious father was pinned under a floating machine. I woke up quite disturbed. If dreams mean anything, I'd like to know what this one means. Where's Joseph with a colorful coat when you need him? By the way, this one is tame compared to most I have.
So, in response to Candy's response to my last blog entry.... geez, all I said was there are no guarantees in life. I wanted you to comment but I didn't want to read a Jane Austen novel (just kidding, I have to mention when I'm joking now, because heaven forbid if I hurt Lacy's feelings). Also, if I'd known you knew who I was talking about, I'd have disguised things a little more. Cliff called me today to see who it was I was talking about. He didn't know him. Incidentally, the bank he worked at for a long time (not really his bank, now it's a different bank - but same building, was robbed today). See there is justice in this life. Also, I'm writing a book now based on my experiences -- mostly in Blythe. It's called, "What they can't tell you in General Conference and why." Catchy title, huh? There will be a chapter on "Life according to Howard", including his Howardisms and another one called, "Why can't I have as deep of thoughts as my sister?" Also, one chapter is going to be titled, "Does God really want us all to be Mormon?"
I've got several more chapters I'm working on including, "Is Eternal progression linear or in 3D?"). If you have any chapter titles you'd like me to add, feel free to give submit them to me.
The book is approximately 2000 pages so far, but I'm working to edit it down to about 10 pages including pictures. I figure it will be a best seller, but I don't think Deseret Book will pick it up. I might have to self-publish it.
Monday, February 02, 2009
No guarantees
I had occasion to once again ponder the meaning of life this past week. I'm certain none of you do that, but with the passing of several of my former acquaintances, I have been reflecting and deflecting some thoughts that mostly come to me just as I fall asleep -- which isn't very often these days. It seems as though the older I get, the harder it is to sleep. Why is that? No, that's for another blog entry.
So, here is the result of my pondering on the meaning of life. Our goal should be to try to get out of this life alive. Of course, that's impossible, after all as cousin Mark so aptly put it in his film, "Baby Boomerang," even the people Jesus healed and brought back to life eventually died. But, still I think our purpose in life is to try to be alive.
I've contrasted the lives of several different people who I have known that recently died. One was exceedingly wealthy in both temporal and spiritual means. He was a great benefactor and extremely generous along with a great family man. By all that we measure a person by he was an outstanding individual, so much so they had to hold his funeral in 3 different stake centers and broadcast the proceedings to 2 of them.
Then there was another man who tried his best in life. By all accounts he too was a good family man and while not wealthy he worked hard at his career choice and provided for his family. Unfortunately, his wife ran off with another man and took his children. Who knows why? Maybe he had it coming, maybe he didn't. The company he worked for left the town he lived in and he had to bounce around to other jobs, etc. He tried to stay active in his religion for many years. He held callings, he did church service but eventually he lost his faith to a degree and pretty much gave up. I only mention his circumstances because he was someone who had a positive effect on my life. He appeared to really try and do what was right, but for reasons unknown to me, his life just didn't go the way I thought it would and he probably thought it would.
He didn't have a funeral -- only a memorial service. His former wife wasn't there, although several of his children were. He never remarried, though he found a companion later in his life. For a few weeks after his death, I couldn't even find an obituary about him anywhere. Finally, someone had one printed in a local newspaper that I could read. That really made me happy.
Now the truth is, I really don't know why the lives of these two men were so different. Maybe we get what deserve in life and one deserved the "great life" and one deserved the "not so great life". I honestly don't know. But this much I do know, and I don't mean to sound callous, they are both dead. Their earthly journey is finished. In fact, both died the same way of the same ailment.
One had it all and will be remembered as a great individual. One appeared to have a great life and then it just wafted away, much like a torn apart cattail in the wind.
So, what is my conclusion? There are no guarantees in life, that's what. I know we are taught that the family that prays together stays together, that if you hold family home evening your children will not go astray, that if you read the scriptures daily you will have family harmony, that if pay your tithing you will have your temporal needs taken care of, that if you do this, you will get that, ya da ya da ya da. I know that these things help to insulate us from dangers and temptations, etc. I do believe all that, but I also know that when it rains it brings both roses and mud and that it rains on both the just and the unjust. People are people and because we are just that, we make mistakes, our children make mistakes, people get sick and die sometimes with cause -- sometimes without cause, there is war and injustice in the world and as Uncle Cliff says, "life is a photo finish".
Life is like buying a new car. When you choose the car you want it comes with a warranty not a guarantee. There is a big difference. There is no guarantee that the car will not ever break down. In fact, that's why the car manufacturers offer a warranty. They know it will. When it does need to be fixed, they will fix it for free. That's the beauty of the warranty. You can also buy an extended warranty.
So, what does this have to do with the meaning of life? We have no guarantees. In fact, the Lord knows that parts of our lives will break down and need to be fixed. It's part of the contract we entered into. The great thing is, He has provided us with a free extended warranty. He will fix what ails us, free of charge for as long as we need it. There is only one caveat, we have to take ourselves to Him to receive the fixing. If my new car broke down and I decided I didn't want to have it fixed for free under the terms of the warranty, then that's my problem and I'm an idiot.
So, I've decided I'm going to check my warrantee again and see what the terms are. That's how I'm gonna get out of this life alive and at the same time try to be alive during this life.
So, here is the result of my pondering on the meaning of life. Our goal should be to try to get out of this life alive. Of course, that's impossible, after all as cousin Mark so aptly put it in his film, "Baby Boomerang," even the people Jesus healed and brought back to life eventually died. But, still I think our purpose in life is to try to be alive.
I've contrasted the lives of several different people who I have known that recently died. One was exceedingly wealthy in both temporal and spiritual means. He was a great benefactor and extremely generous along with a great family man. By all that we measure a person by he was an outstanding individual, so much so they had to hold his funeral in 3 different stake centers and broadcast the proceedings to 2 of them.
Then there was another man who tried his best in life. By all accounts he too was a good family man and while not wealthy he worked hard at his career choice and provided for his family. Unfortunately, his wife ran off with another man and took his children. Who knows why? Maybe he had it coming, maybe he didn't. The company he worked for left the town he lived in and he had to bounce around to other jobs, etc. He tried to stay active in his religion for many years. He held callings, he did church service but eventually he lost his faith to a degree and pretty much gave up. I only mention his circumstances because he was someone who had a positive effect on my life. He appeared to really try and do what was right, but for reasons unknown to me, his life just didn't go the way I thought it would and he probably thought it would.
He didn't have a funeral -- only a memorial service. His former wife wasn't there, although several of his children were. He never remarried, though he found a companion later in his life. For a few weeks after his death, I couldn't even find an obituary about him anywhere. Finally, someone had one printed in a local newspaper that I could read. That really made me happy.
Now the truth is, I really don't know why the lives of these two men were so different. Maybe we get what deserve in life and one deserved the "great life" and one deserved the "not so great life". I honestly don't know. But this much I do know, and I don't mean to sound callous, they are both dead. Their earthly journey is finished. In fact, both died the same way of the same ailment.
One had it all and will be remembered as a great individual. One appeared to have a great life and then it just wafted away, much like a torn apart cattail in the wind.
So, what is my conclusion? There are no guarantees in life, that's what. I know we are taught that the family that prays together stays together, that if you hold family home evening your children will not go astray, that if you read the scriptures daily you will have family harmony, that if pay your tithing you will have your temporal needs taken care of, that if you do this, you will get that, ya da ya da ya da. I know that these things help to insulate us from dangers and temptations, etc. I do believe all that, but I also know that when it rains it brings both roses and mud and that it rains on both the just and the unjust. People are people and because we are just that, we make mistakes, our children make mistakes, people get sick and die sometimes with cause -- sometimes without cause, there is war and injustice in the world and as Uncle Cliff says, "life is a photo finish".
Life is like buying a new car. When you choose the car you want it comes with a warranty not a guarantee. There is a big difference. There is no guarantee that the car will not ever break down. In fact, that's why the car manufacturers offer a warranty. They know it will. When it does need to be fixed, they will fix it for free. That's the beauty of the warranty. You can also buy an extended warranty.
So, what does this have to do with the meaning of life? We have no guarantees. In fact, the Lord knows that parts of our lives will break down and need to be fixed. It's part of the contract we entered into. The great thing is, He has provided us with a free extended warranty. He will fix what ails us, free of charge for as long as we need it. There is only one caveat, we have to take ourselves to Him to receive the fixing. If my new car broke down and I decided I didn't want to have it fixed for free under the terms of the warranty, then that's my problem and I'm an idiot.
So, I've decided I'm going to check my warrantee again and see what the terms are. That's how I'm gonna get out of this life alive and at the same time try to be alive during this life.
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